Funny Happy Birthday Greeting Cards

1. I always wanted to have someone, someone to love. And now that you've come into my life...
(Inside card) - I've changed my mind.

2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life...
(Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you.

3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am....
(Inside card) - That you're not here to ruin it for me ..

4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go....
(Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again.

5. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....
(Inside card) - Almost lifelike!

6. When we were together, you said you'd die for me...
(Inside card) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.

7. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy....
(Inside card) - Did you ever find out who the father was?

8. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday...
(Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep.

9. Looking back over the years that we have been together, I can't help but wonder.....
(Inside card) - What the hell was I thinking

10. I'm so miserable without you...
(Inside card) - It's almost like you're still here.

11. Thank you for being part of my life.....
(Inside card) - I never knew what evil was until I met you!

12. Congratulations on your wedding day!
(Inside card) - Too bad no one likes your husband.

13. How can I say this....
(Inside card) - Your cooking kills me

14. I just want you to know that I'm sorry for what happened...
(Inside card) - Especially since you survived.

15. Congrats on getting married...
(Inside card) - It's not everyday you decide to ruin your life.

16. Someday I hope to marry...
(inside card) - Someone other than you.

17. We have been friends for a very long time...
(inside card) - What do you say we stop?

Heehee have a star! *************************************
You really put a smile on my face :)

Thanx!

2008-06-28 13:18:16 by VIJAY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! happy birthday! feliz aniversário , feliz cumpleaños, Parabéns pra você! a funny and free happy birthday song ecards ...

these are pretty funny :D

**You totaled your car
And can't remember why.
Could it have been.
That whole case of Bud Dry?**

**Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your Birthday
So we're having you put to sleep.**

**You are such a good friend
That if we were on a sinking ship
And there was only one life jacket....
I'd miss you heaps and think of you often.**

*When we were together,
You always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.*

*Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go,
Would you like to take this knife out of my back.*
You'll probably need it again.

*Happy Birthday! You look great for your age...
Almost Lifelike! **

lol thanks for the laugh :))

2009-01-28 08:52:31 by ൬ɝ ƒąɨƪ Ȝƞɠłἶs৸ thªŧƨ սռթօรรﻨъlε

Hi there

Are there any sites which gives suggestions on what a sender could write in greeting cards? I'm not talking about getting headings/sub headings for people who create greeting cards, but for those - who are like me -who want to write funny messages to their friends/family/colleagues but just can't think of what to say. I always write boring things like 'Hope you have a brilliant day' or 'Hope you get better soon', but I want something a bit more imaginative to make them smile :o)

I came across a few sites which had heartfelt sayings like 'Sweet thoughts and wishes are sent your way', but I want something funny like 'Ageless, timeless.. and still hopeless! Happy Birthday'. I preferably need messages to cover all types of greetings i.e. birthdays, get well, sympathy, new baby etc.

The latest card I need to send is to my friend - In addition to the little boy they already have, she gave birth to a baby girl this week. I have absolutely no bloody idea what to write down that sounds funny. Any ideas anybody?!

I know I should always say things from the heart, but I just want to make people smile for a change... and where's the harm in that aye?! :-)

Ta v much

D xx

www.moonpig.com has cards to choose from, but YOU personalise them.....hmmmm......

http://www.buzzle.com/articles/funny-bir thday-card-messages.html has some KINDA funny bday messages
http://www.americangreetings.com/printab les/category.pd/_/N-80wkZ80l4Z80l3/Ne-80 uy?navtype=refine has some ok ones, just click on the cards for the greetings

2009-04-03 15:25:53 by Cheeky Welsh Wifey :o)

Box of 10 cards/10 white self-stick envelopes
Cards with Happy Birthday on the cover and birthday greetings inside
Two each of five different designs

The card has the picture of an elephants butt on the front. When you open it up it says: Nothing says Happy Birthday like a big-ass card. How would you say this in German so it's funny?
THanks so much!

Nichts sagt Happy Birthday wie eine grosse-ass card!

thats all you can really do the words that are in english they will uderstand but do not exzist in german

2010-04-01 09:14:32 by Positive.Vibrations.

I saw this on Sparknotes. Which one do you like best?

50 Things That Should Not Exist
1. Headaches.
2. Stupid, uncomfortable chairs.
3. People who sharpen their pencils slowly.
4. Stores that check your receipt as you exit, making you feel like a criminal.
5. Mean cats.
6. Soft Jazz.
7. People who cut paper slowly.
8. Disease.
9. Big scary bugs with many legs.
10. Tuna salad with celery.
11. Celery.
12. Food service employees who assume that when you said, "No tomatoes," you were lying.
13. Mysterious sticky spots on desks.
14. Mysterious warm sections in pools.
15. The phrase, "We need to give it 110%."
16. Long sales receipts that include a code at the bottom for an online survey, that, when completed, will enter you for a chance to win a gift card. (We never win, and yet we always get our hopes up.)
17. Blisters on the back of the ankle caused by new shoes.
18. Parody versions of the Happy Birthday Song.
19. Grass (Because you'd think by now it would have evolved and learned that if it grows, it will get mowed.)
20. Facial hair (For the same reason as grass.)
21. Tiny cups of coleslaw served at diners.
22. Remakes of bad horror movies.
23. Back-of-the-knee sweat.
24. Greeting cards with glitter.
25. Televised poker.
26. Splinters.
27. Wheat Pennies and Bicentennial Quarters (Because we never know if it's OK to spend them, or if we should save them.)
28. Wisdom teeth.
29. The Hills on MTV.
30. Poverty.
31. Fluctuating speed limits on long stretches of heavily patrolled road.
32. Popped collars.
33. People with tattoos written in a language that they cannot speak.
34. Hurricanes.
35. Teachers with coffee breath.
36. Ziggy comic strips.
37. DVD commentaries in which the commentators simply describe what is happening on the screen while congratulating themselves. (E.G. "OK, so then he's going to pick up the phone. This is such a great scene. Now, he's going to say something.")
38. Racism.
39. Park benches that are still wet from the storm that came through about two hours ago.
40. Anti-matter. (This isn't an annoyance, but instead, is something that should not exist.)
41. Product placement visible in most TV shows and movies.
42. Elderly relatives on social networking sites.
43. Bathroom stalls that don't have doors.
44. Any arcade game or toy vending machine that costs more than 50 cents.
45. Prickly bushes that are in close proximity to the basketball court or the bottom of sledding hills.
46. Waiting rooms with a TV smaller than 13 inches.
47. The fact that Shakespeare in Love beat out Saving Private Ryan for the Academy Award for Best Picture.
48. Traffic. (Especially if the cause of the traffic is a mystery even after the traffic jam eases up.)
49. People who tell you about the concert that you didn't go to.
50. The last 20 minutes of Peter Jackson's The Return of the King (other than the last part, it's a pretty cool movie).

*Puts pencil down*
Yeah.... Totally agree *awkward*

2009-09-19 21:59:28 by Տeirei